Jailed
by IncestuousChinchillas
Summary: Oneshot. Locked up in a tiny cell in the Sacred Realm, Dark Link decides to exact small revenge on his captors by annoying his guard. Saria/Dark. Not a crackfic... Rated for minor swearing.


AN: Well, I wanted to write some SariDark, then I was thinking, "Where on earth would they ever meet?" Then I thought, "Well, what if they trapped him in the Sacred Realm after Link whipped his butt?" So... yeah.  
>Also, the song ("King Higgery-dee"?) is one I made up, to the tune of the Castle Town market theme XD<p>

**Jailed**

A certain shadow slammed his head against the wall again. He growled in frustration and boredom, blowing ebony bangs out of his eyes. Scanning the tiny cell once more, he wriggled a bit in a vain attempt to get comfortable. All he succeeded in doing was sitting on his bound hands. With a sigh, he scooted back to the wall and leaned against it, pulling his tied-up ankles toward himself so he was almost sitting cross-legged.

After battling his... what was Link to him? His other self? Alter ego? Anyway, after Dark Link lost the fight to the Hero of Time, he was carted off to the Sacred Realm and locked in this tiny stone cell. His hands and feet were tied with magic rope, so no luck getting out there in the two weeks or so he'd been trapped.  
>Dark Link considered himself to be a fairly patient person, but even he got sick of the four-walls-and-a-ceiling room after about a week.<p>

'Well, if I'm going through a hell of boredom, the poor bastard guarding me will, too,' he thought. 'Speaking of which, who's guarding me?'

Searching his brain, he lighted on the perfect way to piss anyone off: an annoying song.

"Old King Higgery-dum  
>Drank some poisonous rum<br>Now he's weeping and glum  
>Silly old Higgery-dum."<br>It was an old nonsense song, one that every child in Hyrule knew. However, anyone above the age of ten found it extremely obnoxious, because it had a bad habit of getting stuck in one's head. To make matters worse, Dark Link was singing horrendously off-key.  
>He heard a chair scraping against the stone floor as the sentry outside shifted. Good. They could hear.<br>"Blind King Figgery-dee  
>Found that he couldn't see<br>When he ran into a tree  
>Woody old Figgery-dee."<p>

He wasn't entirely sure on the next verse. Was it Tiggery-tim or Diggery-doo? As he hesitated, he heard the sentry start singing for him.

"Dumb King Tiggery-Tim," she sang, then paused, waiting for him to come in. He didn't.

"He was frightfully dim...?" Her tone was questioning: are you going to sing? 'No way. If it isn't making your teeth grind, it's not worth me pestering myself.'  
>"Do you not know the rest?" she finally asked. When he didn't respond, she looked through the bars in the thick iron door.<p>

'The Kokiri sage. Of course.'

Dark glared daggers at her and rolled his eyes, before half-turning so he faced away from the door.

"Well, the next line goes-"

"I know the damn song!" he snapped, shooting her another death-glare.

She just sort of looked at him, thoughtful.  
>"You know," she said, at length, "I think you could be fun if you stopped being so angry all the time."<p>

He barely held back an expression of bewilderment. Who was this girl? First she completely rebukes his attempt to infuriate her (a rather desperate, pathetic attempt though it was) and now she suggests that he, the very embodiment of all the darkness in Link's heart, could possibly be "fun"? Clearly there was something wrong with her. He just shook his head and sneered.

"Don't get your hopes up. The entire world pisses me off," he growled. "Including you."

He had hoped that would discourage her, and she would leave him to sulk in his mind-numbing boredom, but alas. She didn't move from the window. Instead, the green-haired girl looked thoughtful again.  
>Finally, she said confidently, "Then don't get angry. Laugh."<br>The prisoner was left, again, to marvel at her audacity. Now she was just playing with him, surely.

"Laugh?" he exclaimed, completely thunderstruck.

She giggled, ignoring his very best what-in-Din's-name-is-WRONG-with-you face. "It works like this: instead of thinking, 'gosh, that really makes me mad!' think, 'wow, that's really funny!' If you try really hard, everything can be fun!"

He shook his head in amazement, which he seemed to be doing a lot, and smirked. "And you're a sage? Aren't sages supposed to be wise?" The remark was intended to sting, but, again, she was impervious to his best barbs.

The girl smiled slightly and shrugged. "I'm also a child. Besides, 'out of the mouths of babes oft come gems,' right?"

He smirked wider, holding back an expression of agreement in favor of another verbal attack. "All that's coming out of your mouth is shit, but sure. Okay. I'll laugh." The shadow barked out a single, harsh laugh.  
>Then another.<br>And another.  
>Soon enough, he was laughing almost maniacally, and definitely uncontrollably. And then, strangely, the laughter turned genuine. Life suddenly seemed ridiculous to him- he was currently hog-tied in a seven-foot-square rock box, because he couldn't win in a fight- against himself, no less! It was... well, it was honestly kind of stupid, now. If he'd told it that way to anyone else, they probably would have given him a strange look and backed away. He laughed ever harder as Saria joined in with her high-pitched, almost musical giggle. More and more things came to mind- things that used to make him spitting mad, but, in a different light, seemed funny. He'd spent months locked in an ancient fish-people temple waiting for his good side to come so they could fight to the death. Then he lost, so he was imprisoned in a realm populated by an old man, a little girl, and a fish-woman. When he saw it that way, the whole situation was just... ridiculous.<p>

Finally, he grinned as the peals of laughter subsided.

"See?" insisted Saria. "It works." Her blue eyes still sparkled with mirth, and he felt more lighthearted than he had, well, ever.

The shadow shook his head in amazement yet again. The wonders never ceased with this girl. "You're really something."

"Something good or something bad?" she asked in an almost self-deprecating tone.

He'd never met anyone like her. The shadow had existed... well, as long as Link had. He was the physical embodiment of all the darkness in Link's heart, created so the Hero would be pure. As a result, he'd been extremely cynical his entire life: as far as Dark Link was concerned, the world was populated by selfish, often idiotic lowlifes who would always hate him, so he decided to just hate everyone in return.  
>Saria, however, forced him, through innocent charm, to hate her less- maybe even not hate her at all. Certainly not like her, but not hate her either. He had to say, he didn't quite abhor the feeling.<p>

"Something... different," the shadow finally decided.  
>She laughed.<p>

AN: fluffy. Insubstantial. Short. Not my best work. I'm kind of toying with the idea of extending it, though. Thoughts?


End file.
